


You're goin' with me?

by mooniecarpools



Category: Mikey and Nicky (1976)
Genre: 1970s, Character Study, M/M, Period Typical, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:09:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27712517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooniecarpools/pseuds/mooniecarpools
Summary: Mikey and Nicky decide to get off the bus and have to walk a few blocks.
Relationships: Mikey Mittner / Nicky Godalin, Mikey/Nicky
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	You're goin' with me?

And there we were. Sharing a cigarette in the back of a city bus.  _ Jesus,  _ I thought,  _ I didn’t fuck it up _ . _ For once, I just let it go right _ . 

I couldn’t help but laugh.

_ We,  _ he’d said. 

“You’re going with me?”

“Yeah, you son-of-a-bitch. I’m coming with you”

What else do you do but smile?

And then I hear myself say, “you wanna go to the girl?” 

“At Hall and 10th?” 

Shit- I locked it in. It’s all a stupid game I play with myself. I know in my mind, I want things to go right; I want him to take control and say “no, Nicky, I’m taking you to an airport,” but at the same time, I see how far I can push him. I get so sick of the way I am it eats me away.

It’s something men do to each other… It's like that last reminisce of animalistic intent has me always trying to up everyone. And for a moment there, it all went away. On the back of that bus sharing a smoke, we were kids again. 

The bus dropped us off a few blocks from the girl’s apartment. The wet pavement and street lamps left a thin haze of white light in the air. I looked over at Mikey, who, within the sternness of his expression, started to smile a little. I became washed over with his presence. There was a lot I wanted to say to him; there was a lot I wanted him to say to me. To take me back to the hotel away from it all one more time. To look at my hands and hold them in his own. But then I thought, _ it’s bad luck to compare hands. _

“I don't remember it raining,” is all I could say.

“What are you talking about,” he said back.

“I mean, the floor is- it’s all wet but I don't remember it raining.”

“So?”

“So, I don't remember it raining! Do you want your coat back?”

“Do I what? Do I want my coat back?”

“Here,” I said, taking off the coat, “you’re obviously cold. This one’s warmer. Take the coat.”

“I don’t want the coat.”

“Take it,” I said, shoving it into his arms and attempting, clumsily, to take off mine from him, “here. Wait- shit” 

“What are you doing, I don’t need- stop you prick!”

Next thing I knew, we hit the ground and I couldn’t stop laughing like a lunatic. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, Mikey.” I laid there on my ass waiting for his reaction. Waiting to see if I’d got a rise out of him, but he just laughs… and we lay there, laughing our asses off. 

“You prick,” he smiled and shifted himself over to sit on the curb.

I joined him and put the coat over his back. 

“What the hell are we doing,” I spoke up, “what are we doing?”

He chuckled a little and looked over at me, “We’re… going to the girl’s-”

“No, I mean you and me; what the fuck are we doing?”

“Nick, you’re crazy, I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Look, alright- let’s do something else. Lets- I don't know.”

"Come on, jesus christ, Nick. You wanna do one thing, then you wanna do another, damn you. Make up your mind.”

“I just- I just get so caught up, okay. I feel like, maybe- no, wait listen to me- like maybe I  _ am _ going insane," I looked over at him and continued, "you know? I feel like I get stuck in my head, and like, my body is still moving and doing things and speaking, but I’m up here in my head and I see what it’s doing-and-and… I don't know and.”

“Okay, what are you trying to say, Nick?” he said as he started to get up.

“No, wait, hang on,” I pulled on him to sit back down, “sometimes I just get stuck in my head, and I  _ know _ what I’m doing isn’t right, but by then, I’m in too deep and… I just keep going.”

Mikey sort of looked at me blinking before he spoke, “what is this, what are you saying? Is it an apology?”

Suddenly, staring at him there, it all poured in. There we were, sitting on the wet freezing pavement at 1 in the morning, alone in a sleeping city; it felt like there was only him and me in the whole world. 

“Lets drive away,” I said.

“Nicky-” 

“Lets. Why can’t you drive me? Let’s go away, Mikey”

“Nicky- Nick what are you on about.”

“I want to go, I want to get out of here,” I started feeling a panic set in the pit of my chest, “I don't want to be here. Come on.”

“Christ Nick-” he started speaking but I’d stood up and was glancing around for an exit, “where are you going?”

I noticed a fence open to an alleyway and ran towards it. My heart was pounding in my chest and a dull pain grew in the pit of my stomach.  _ Shit. _ I was panicking again. I leaned myself against the wall of the alley to keep from sitting down in the garbage.  _ Shit shit shit.  _

Mikey’s footsteps approached, “Nicky- what kind of fucking game are you at. I have had it with this shit-” 

I looked over at him and felt a rush of heat start in my stomach. It moved outwards into my face and hands and feet and built up with every step he took closer to me. As soon as he was close enough I stepped towards him and pushed him against the wall.

“Nicky, what the fuck-”

“Mikey, I love you.” 

He looked at me like I’d told him his fucking dog died, “Shut the hell up.”

My arms were pressing on his shoulders, “Mikey, I love a lot of people, but, no Mikey-”

“For christ’s sake,” he shook his shoulder to get me to let go.

“Mikey listen! I mean it.”

“Are you fucking kidding me.”

“No! Isn’t it funny?”

His eyes examined me, trying to read if it was another joke.

“Mikey-” I tried to laugh it off.

“After the shit you put me through, you son-of-a-bitch,” 

“What I put you through?”

“After the way you treat me around the guys. After I call you for months and don’t get nothing back. You prick. You bastard,” He shook me off and started to walk away. 

I felt something build up inside of me, “Mikey. Mikey where are you going?”

“I’m going home.”

“Well then, I’m coming with you. Come on Mikey,” I grabbed hold of his arm, “you told me you were coming with me, well then, I’m going with you.”

“I don’t even get what that means.” He turned around and faced me. There was an orange light coming from the building above that reflected off the paving stones and gave us some light to see each other. 

“You look like a sunset,” I said.

“Christ-”

I felt the tension in the air and laughed to try and clear it, “you’re all orange,” I just kept fucking laughing.

“Can you be serious? Why can’t you be serious?” 

“I can be serious,” I said as I attempted to stop chuckling but failing, “but you look like a sunset.”

“Be quiet, you.”

“Mikey, I love you, I mean it.”

“Would you stop.”

“Come on, let's go away, let's get out of here, you and me.”

“I wish you would stop-”

“No! I won’t!”

“Nick-”

And then I kissed him. 

Suddenly, with his back against the wall and my hands around his waist I felt everything that had built up in me wash away. And I felt, well, hell, if I did end up dead at the end of the day, at least in this moment there was nothing but him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This was an attempt at a Nicky character study --- Also go listen to Nobody But You by Lou Reed & John Cale because that was what inspired me.


End file.
